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2001
Barnard/CBS Essay Contest -- Fourth Prize Winner
Leah S. Alston-Phillips
Offsite Educational Services/Taft Houses
A
Woman I Admire
There
are many women who deserve admiration. Brenda
Tully, however, is the woman that I admire most.
Ms. Tully is my social worker at the Marian Hall
group home for girls. I met Brenda in 1998. Over
time she became more than an excellent social
worker; she was a strong role model as well as
a terrific friend.
When I first arrived at Marian Hall I wasn't cooperating
with anyone, especially not any Caucasian woman
trying to be another person on my back. This residency
was my first foster care placement. I was uncomfortable
and I made it crystal clear to everyone. My home
life made me very unhappy and I brought those
feelings with me.
In
my family I am the only girl of 18 children so
I spent all of my time cleaning up after "the
boys." I did what was demanded of me, not what
I wanted to do. No one even asked me how I felt,
or what I liked about anything, so when I settled
into my placement I decided to be rebellious.
I came and went as I pleased, disregarding all
the rules of the house. I thought this is how
Leah would do whatever Leah wanted to do. Little
did I know Ms. Tully had a surprise for me.
While
other staff members accepted and brushed off my
nasty attitude, Ms. Tully would not. She came
straight and told me, "I would tolerate your negative
attitude if it was really who you are; however,
since it's not, I will not accept you settling
for less by acting any way you want." Once she
spoke up and made it clear that she would not
accept how I acted, I knew it was time to give
her a chance.
Ms.
Tully is admired by me because of her outgoing
and positive attitude. She carries herself with
an attitude that's ready for anything or anyone,
including me. The patience that she showed me
and everyone else made me think about who I was
and if I liked how my thinking and actions made
other people feel. Through example, Brenda was
slowly but surely teaching me to respect my own
feelings as well as everyone else's.
I admire Brenda because she took the time to ask
me questions that no one had ever asked me. She
asked me what foods I like and what I liked to
do for pleasure. We both took the challenge of
finding out about what makes me who I am. Surprisingly
I didn't even know what my favorite color was.
I couldn't even say when I last did something
recreational for my own enjoyment. Brenda actually
took me out for walks to get pizza and ice cream
on a regular basis. We even searched through sale
racks all along 14th Street to see if maybe shopping
was any fun for me. Of course, I loved it. My
social worker is an inspiration to all. If you're
lucky enough to ever meet her, you would soon
realize that her presence made any bad feelings
you had melt away.
My
friend Brenda Tully helped me explore myself,
something very important for a very confused teenage
girl. She was always so enthusiastic about me
setting and reaching goals. I now set challenges
for myself every day. I've changed my whole way
of thinking and I have Brenda to thank for that.
Having her reliable support, I have bloomed into
a very positive young woman who knows that my
favorite colors are gray and black. Brenda's example
of being a good friend has helped me with relationships
of my own. She has played a big role in my happiness.
I hope that my day by day goals will lead me to
be a patient and understanding human being, just
like Ms. Brenda Tully. I admire this woman, not
only because of her tremendous qualities, but
also because she helped me find things deserving
of admiration within myself. Brenda Tully is leaving
our Group homes in two weeks so I would like to
dedicate this essay to her.
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