My boyfriend and I have been having sexual intercourse for over a year. The idea of anal sex and oral-anal sex came up the last time we were making love. To be honest, I am kind of embarrassed to have anal sex. I want to try it because I’ve heard it can be pleasurable, but I’m worried that anal sex will be painful, or that I will get sick from oral-anal sex. Can you give me some advice on this issue?

The anus can be stimulated with fingers, penis, tongue, or sex toys, and anal play can be very pleasurable for some people. We suggest that if you are uncomfortable, perhaps you shouldn’t do it all at once, but rather try one thing at a time. The anus is not as elastic as the vagina, so anal intercourse can be painful for the recipient. It is important to be gentle and slow, waiting until you are relaxed, and to use a lubricant, such as saliva or a water-soluble jelly. Oral-anal sex, also known as "rimming," can also be pleasurable for both partners. With both penile-anal and oral-anal sex, infections can be transmitted from one person to another. Anal intercourse may put you at risk for HIV, gonorrhea, genital warts, and other sexually transmitted infections (STI’s) if your partner is infected. Even if neither partner is infected with an STI, there are usually intestinal bacteria present around the anus and in the rectum. These bacteria can cause serious infections, especially if ingested. For these reasons, it is important to use latex barriers for anal intercourse and for rimming. A male lover should wear a condom for penile-anal sex, and you should use a flat sheet of latex, known as a dental dam, for rimming. Condoms and dental dams are free at Health Services, and you can make your own dental dam by cutting or tearing lengthwise down an unlubricated condom and flattening it out. So that’s the scoop on anal sex. If none of this sounds appetizing to you, remember that you don’t have to do it. While many straight and gay couples enjoy anal adventures, many others have wonderful and fulfilling sex lives without anal sex.