Is it possible for some women to have smaller vaginas then others? If so, can a woman “enlarge” hers? I have tried to enlarge mine with both my fingers and a vibrator/dildo, but these methods have not helped and it is even painful to use a vibrator. I bought the “ultra thin” kind, but it doesn’t seem small enough! Am I destined to have painful sex and not get the full pleasure from using a vibrator? I am not tense, nor nervous so I don’t think this is the reason. I am just small, but unfortunately penises don’t come in only small sizes! Do you have any reasons for this and what I can do about it? I don’t want my first sexual experience to be painful and I am afraid my partner will be disappointed if he can’t get “it” all the way in (without me screaming!) Thanks!!

It sure sounds like you have tried everything to figure this one out and we congratulate you on your effort. As you probably already know, normal vaginal openings, like other body parts, come in a wide range of sizes and shapes. For most women, the opening is large enough and the tissue surrounding the opening (called hymen tissue) is elastic enough that it can easily stretch for insertion of a tampon, fingers, dildo or a penis. Remember, it is meant to stretch enough to have a baby. However, without clinical information we can only guess why you are experiencing pain in this area. There are many possibilities. One may be that a thick hymen decreases elasticity or your vagina is small with tight muscles, but it doesn’t matter, something can be done. The vagina is a muscle that will expand, and yes, it is possible to stretch and enlarge this area. Because the vaginal lining is elastic, problems in accommodating a penis are very rare, even for women who are petite. It is also possible that tightness in the vaginal entrance is due to your being tense even though you don’t feel anxious. When you are tense or preoccupied the vaginal entrance is not likely to loosen up enough, and getting the penis, finger, or dildo in might hurt. Even if you feel relaxed and sexy, timing is important. It you try penetration before you are fully aroused, you might still be too tight, though you are wet enough. And don’t forget to always use lubricant. Student Health Services has excellent clinicians who can evaluate and refer you to a specialist if necessary. A visual inspection can determine much and a pelvic exam may not be necessary. So, don’t delay, for your comfort both physical and emotional. Taken (in part) from: Understanding your body: Every woman’s guide to gynecology and health; Our Bodies Ourselves