...a healthy relationship when:
- you never try to control or manipulate each other
- neither of you is possessive
- you are each other's best friend
- you do not abuse alcohol or drugs
- you treat each other with respect
- you feel secure and comfortable with each other
- you never cheat on each other
- you are never violent with each other--no pushing, grabbing, hitting, punching
- you don't scream at each other
- you can resolve conflicts respectfully
- you have fun together
- you enjoy many of the same activities
- neither of you are possessive
- you have equal power in the relationship
- you don't put each other down
- you do not embarrass each other publicly
- you are proud of each other
- your life is better because this person is in your life
- you have privacy in the relationship; your letters, phone calls, etc. are your own
- you're both allowed to have good friends outside the relationship
- most people in your life are happy about the relationship
- you never feel scared around each other
- you never feel pressured to have sex
- there are more good times in the relationship than bad times
- most of the time you feel happy together
- you can trust each other
- you can talk to each other
- you have many of the same basic values
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...an unhealthy relationship when:
Someone...
- tries to control or manipulate you
- is very possessive
- gets jealous when you talk to other people
- drinks or uses drugs around you
- makes you feel bad about yourself
- calls you names
- yells at you
- tells you how to dress
- criticizes your friends
- is physically abusive--grabs, hits, pushes, or throws objects at you
- does not like you to be close to other people
- tries to physically stop you from going where you want to go
- cheats on you
- pressures you to be sexual
- does not make time for you
- does not listen when you speak
- flirts with other people in your presence
- has negative attitudes about women
- has too many problems that his/her life is not really working
- has trouble getting along with people in general
- uses negative language about women
You...
- feel scared or uncomfortable around him/her
- are afraid of his/her temper
- are unhappy a lot of the time
- are aware that people close to you dislike him/her
- can't trust him/her, you wonder what he/she is doing when you are not around
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